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<title>Can't Lie (We'll Hurt Either Way) by mygreatwidesomewhere</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562610">Can't Lie (We'll Hurt Either Way)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mygreatwidesomewhere/pseuds/mygreatwidesomewhere'>mygreatwidesomewhere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Confessions, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Beta Read, author doesn't know how to tag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:48:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mygreatwidesomewhere/pseuds/mygreatwidesomewhere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark won't lie. It's for Donghyuck's own good. Still, it hurts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Can't Lie (We'll Hurt Either Way)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello, thank you for giving this fic of mine a chance! I'm still a beginner at writing fics so I would say this is one of my practice fics using the dialogue prompt "Lie to me then" from the tumblr account Chrmdpoet. I would be really happy if you shared your thoughts on my fic in the comments, especially if it's constructive criticism on my writing style. I hope you enjoy reading this!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I love you. I think you can tell I don’t just mean it in a platonic way. I mean I want to go on dates with you and hold your hand and kiss you.”</p><p>  Mark stills. He didn’t expect to hear this of all things when his best friend called him down to the playground they had named their ‘special spot’. Donghyuck had been distant for the past few weeks. He may have tried to allay Mark’s worries with reassurances that he wasn’t avoiding him, that he was just flooded with work, but he could sense the tension emanating from him every time they met in person, could see him stiffen whenever Mark would directly address him. Something was clearly amiss. But he did not see this coming.</p><p>  The younger waits for his answer, his eyes turned upwards and full of hope. Mark can’t bring himself to look at him. He knows he’ll go weak and he can’t afford to do that for both their sakes. But still, he needs the boy in front of him to know he’s taking this seriously so he steels himself and meets his gaze.</p><p>  “Hyuck...thank you for telling me this but...I can’t. I don’t feel the same. But you know you’re still so precious to me, don’t you? You’re my best friend and I want us to be together forever.”</p><p>  “Lie to me then.” Donghyuck holds his gaze, defiant even with his eyes shining with unshed tears, “Tell me you love me.”</p><p>  It hurts him. They grew up together, have been best friends since they were in diapers. They knew each other through and through. That’s what happens when you tell each other everything, when you’re with someone you can be your unfiltered self with. But Mark doesn’t know this Donghyuck. </p><p>  His best friend is boisterous and loud. He’s caring and affectionate. Sometimes, he’s undeniably adorable. Other times, he gets on his nerves. Still, he’s always had Mark’s back, being with him through thick and thin. Of course, the same can be said of Mark. All they’ve ever asked of each other was to be true. They hardly hid anything from each other, sharing all their achievements and failures, their pride and their insecurities. But there he is, standing face-to-face with a boy who is all too familiar and yet entirely foreign, being asked to lie. Donghyuck is laying himself bare to Mark, daring him to spare his heart with the three words he can easily say but never mean.  </p><p>  He has long accepted that he can never win against the younger. His force of will too strong, his smile and his words too compelling. And so he’s always relented, always allowing himself to be pulled along, taking Donghyuck’s antics in his stride and doing what he asks of him. But this...this is something he can’t do. Because he loves Donghyuck. Donghyuck who is hurt, who is vulnerable, who wants to be loved by someone who doesn’t reciprocate. Donghyuck who is his best friend. </p><p>  “I could. But then you’d be lying to yourself.”</p><p>  And that’s the last thing he wants Donghyuck to do. Because for as long as he’s known him, he has been headstrong and honest and so so real. He has never known a person more willing to love and accept himself as Donghyuck. Unlike Mark who had a long-lasting phase of denial followed by a massive breakdown that had everyone worried , he realized early on that he liked boys and revealed it to his friends and family the very next day with the nonchalance of someone who was announcing that his favourite colour was blue. Anyone who dared to say a word against him, be it for his sexuality or simply the way he acted, was immediately shut down and blocked out, ignored as if they were an unimportant fly flitting around. </p><p>  He doesn’t want to hurt Donghyuck. He realizes he will no matter what he decides. In that case, at the very least, he wants to spare his dignity, his pride. The Donghyuck he knows simply cannot shine while hiding behind the clouds of his own deceit. It’s only when he confronts the truth that Mark will never love him the way he wants that he will be able to move on. He may not want to. Even at the brink of tears, he’s so incredibly stubborn. But Mark won’t yield this time. Because he loves Donghyuck. Even if it’s not enough for him.</p><p>  So he won’t say it, won’t even give him that hope.</p><p>  “I’m sorry.”</p><p>  He’s determined to stick with his decision but he does. Even as he sees the light leave his best friend’s eyes. Even as the tears slowly start to cascade down his face. Even when he smiles a smile so fake it crushes Mark’s soul to see it, to see him hiding behind a facade, still trying to hold himself together and show Mark he’s okay. Softly, somewhat bitterly, he mutters, “I knew you would say that. You’re always so stupidly righteous.”</p><p>  He can’t bring himself to say a word, terrified he’s already ruined everything. Ten years of friendship lost with just two words.</p><p>  “I really do love you...even if...no, because you’re such a dense idiot. You can’t even lie to spare my feelings. I really picked a tough one, huh?”</p><p>  In the end, he can’t lie. Not to Donghyuck. Even if it hurts. Truth is a double-edged sword and he’s just pierced both of them. It’s fine, he won’t let Donghyuck won’t go down alone. He only hopes they’ll be able to rise back up together too.</p>
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